Dancing with Your Archetypes
“In my experience, there's no such thing as luck”
— Obi-wan Kenobi
Archetypes, our timeless companions live in story, symbol, and in our imagination. They step forward when we’re ready to shift, helping us change our story, renew our energy, and transform our lives.
I became a widow in October 2023, a role I had never imagined for myself. Grief arrived like a tidal wave, overwhelming and relentless. For months, even the simplest things like falling asleep, planning a day, or sharing time with friends, felt nearly impossible. I developed a variety of ritual practices. They became my anchors, shaping a routine that shifted and softened as time went on.
My husband was a professor at the University of Colorado for 52 years. After his death, his graduate students, postdocs, and colleagues wanted to gather in celebration of his legacy. The W. Carl Lineberger Symposium was scheduled for June 2025, and for more than a year I worked with the planning committee, helping to locate alumni, send invitations, choose venues, and infuse each event with a touch of character and care.
Two weeks before participants were to arrive, I was swept into a mythic crisis. For months I had been held by the Community Organizer archetype, but suddenly the Widow archetype rose up and claimed my psyche. Grief surged back with full force. I could not sleep, tears were abundant, and my focus dissolved into shadows. With the Widow leading, I saw no way I could successfully take part in the celebration.
Carl Jung proposed that archetypes are ancient patterns embedded within the collective unconscious. Caroline Myss expands on this, writing:
“What Jung referred to as the collective unconscious, I think of as our inner-net—a high-speed, interconnected psychic network that links us to every other human being through a vast system of archetypes. Each archetype is its own computer program, complete with its own particular set of myths and its own reservoir of symbols and cultural legends associated with those myths.”
To move through my crisis, I had to ask the Widow to step back and allow the Hostess to come forward. I was not banishing the Widow, nor could I. It was, instead, a careful negotiation.
To strengthen the Hostess within me, I sought out her reflections in others.
I studied Laura Jackson, the Curator-Hostess of Instagram; Diana Vreeland, the Visionary-Hostess of culture; and I watched Jacqueline Kennedy’s timeless tour of the White House. I also turned to the ancestral memory of my grandmother, Elizabeth Alabama Edwards, whose gatherings were rituals of elegance and care. Her dining table stretched long, the place settings gleamed, and each guest received a gift tied to the theme of the evening, a token of belonging. I remember being summoned to polish silver before a great event, one of the sacred tasks entrusted to her four granddaughters, apprentices in her lineage of hospitality.
My appearance at the symposium would need to be carefully considered, as though I were stepping into a series of small initiations. With five events to attend, I prepared a different outfit for each one, each costume becoming more playful and whimsical as the three days unfolded, like stages in a ceremonial dance. I studied the guest list as if it were a sacred text, learning each name by heart. I wrote down my memories of every student and colleague, so that when we met, I could honor the thread of their story woven into Carl’s legacy.
As I welcomed guests at the reception, I listened carefully to their questions, answered honestly, and mirrored their language in return. When someone asked, “How are you doing?” I met them with a smile and replied, “I am well. How are you doing?” Stories flowed easily in every direction. Only two guests touched the place where the Widow still lingered, but the Hostess gathered herself quickly and gracefully moved on to others.
I thoroughly enjoyed being part of this remarkable celebration. Guests noticed the care and thought the planning committee poured into shaping each event. As I reflect, I recognize that both the Hostess and the Widow were present throughout and both missed Carl deeply.
Ritual Practice:
Awakening Your Inner Archetype
Each of us walks our own hero’s journey. First comes the Departure, when we leave behind the familiar world and step into the unknown. Then follows the stage of Initiation, where challenges arise and trials test us. In facing them, we are shaped and transformed. At last, comes the Return. Whether crowned with triumph or tempered by failure, we bring back the gift of experience, carrying new knowledge to integrate and share.
Our journey may unfold over a day, a month, or an entire lifetime. Along the way, our archetypes guide us with intuition. In one moment, we may step forward as the Warrior, and in the next as the Caregiver, shaped by how we respond to each situation. As we travel, we also meet others carrying their own hidden archetypes. Some draw us in, others push us away, for it is through these encounters that our own archetypes scout the path ahead.
Life is an archetypal journey woven with wonder, carrying us across endless adventures that teach us the unseen truths of existence and our place within the larger whole. As I step into a big project or even into an ordinary day, I pause to sense which archetype walks beside me, taking the lead on this stretch of the journey.
There are countless archetypes shaping our lives. Some are timeless such as the Child, the Creator, and the Sage. Others emerge from the language of the times, like the Entrepreneur, the Fashionista, or the Networker. What matters most is noticing which archetypes are active for you in this moment. Archetypes often echo the stages of life: the Child may grow into the Creator, and eventually into the Sage.
Every personality system, whether it’s the horoscope, the Enneagram, or another framework, is simply a different constellation of archetypes.
Step 1: Who is guiding your journey now? Read each set of statements and choose the one that feels most true for you. At the end, tally your choices to discover which archetype is speaking most clearly to you today.
1. How do you relate to new beginnings? A. I trust others and look for safety and belonging. B. I push boundaries, test limits, and seek freedom. C. I feel passion, creativity, and the desire to make something new. D. I step forward to protect, serve, or fight for what matters
2. How do you approach challenges? A. I rely on others for guidance and reassurance. B. I question authority and look for my own way. C. I use my imagination and creative energy to solve problems. D. I use wisdom, reflection, and perspective.
3. What gives your life meaning now? A. Play, curiosity, and wonder. B. Adventure, independence, and self-discovery. C. Love, beauty, or building something lasting. D. Serving others, leading, or offering spiritual guidance.
4. How do you face endings or transitions? A. I resist, hoping things will stay safe and unchanged. B. I break away, sometimes dramatically, to find freedom. C. I reimagine, transform, or ritualize the ending. D. I bless others, tell stories, or leave a legacy.
To discover you guiding archetype tally up your answers: in the moment,
Mostly A’s → Innocent / Child Mostly B’s → Explorer / Rebel Mostly C’s → Creator / Lover / Magician Mostly D’s → Sage / Mentor / Ancestor
Step 2: Choose one archetype Choose one archetype from the category (A, B, C or D) that resonates most with you. You may wish to rename it so it better fits your life. For example, the Creator might take shape as the Builder or the Writer. Or perhaps your guiding archetype isn’t on the list at all. You may see yourself instead as the Caregiver, the Outlaw, or something entirely unique.
Step 3: Get to know your archetype Once you’ve identified your leading archetype, spend some time getting to know it. What are its strengths? What are its shadows? How do its qualities show up in your daily behavior? You may be surprised by the power it has to guide and support you.
I’ll be sharing more rituals and archetypes in the future, so stay tuned. Until then, you might want to check out The Ultimate List of Archetypes by Scott Jeffrey, July 17, 2025.
