The Art of Ritual
“Ritual acts, large or small, simple or spectacular, make the invisible world visible.”
— Fabiana Fontevila, Where Wonder Lives
Finding Meaning in Motion
You may have noticed that I always include a ritual practice in each of my newsletters. I do this because ritual invites us to slow down and step into the sacred rhythm of our lives. Through ritual, we expand our emotional landscape, honor the thresholds of change, and tend the grief that inevitably accompanies love and loss. Rituals also help us manage our emotions and stress. They offer steadiness and meaning amid life’s constant challenges.
A ritual practice is a set of actions or words performed in a purposeful and mindful manner, often imbued with symbolic meaning, to express beliefs, values, or emotions. Rituals allow us to be present in the moment, savoring our relationship with ourselves, our families, our communities, or our sense of the sacred.
Many people think of rituals as belonging solely to religion, yet they can also be deeply personal, quietly private, shared in community, or expressed through simple gestures that help us broaden our emotional range. Most of us carry legacy rituals, practices handed down by our parents, faith traditions, or culture. While these hold deep and enduring value, scholars remind us that adapting inherited rituals or creating new ones can nourish our well-being and strengthen our resilience.
Rituals are not the same as habits. Harvard researcher Michael Norton reminds us:
“Good habits automate us, helping us to get things done. Rituals animate us, enhancing and enchanting our lives with something more.”
Habits keep life moving forward, but rituals invite us to pause, awaken to meaning, and infuse the ordinary with the extraordinary.
You may already have a rich repertoire of rituals or simple practices that enhance your performance, soothe your heart, or connect you to something larger than yourself. Take a moment to consider the following categories and reflect on your own rituals.
Consumption Rituals remind us to savor the moment. A toast among friends or a blessing before a meal invites attention and gratitude. These small rituals draw more joy out of each experience and often awaken memories of people, places, and times that have nourished us. What rituals do you practice around food or drink?
Performance Rituals are the practices we engage in before a challenging event, meeting, or performance. They help us focus our energy and set a clear intention. We can also use ritual afterward to release tension or acknowledge disappointment. Do you have a ritual that supports you before or after a meaningful challenge?
Rite of Passage Rituals are ancient human practices that mark the new roles or identities we assume throughout life. We are often skilled at celebrating beginnings — graduations, marriages, and births — but far less practiced at honoring endings such as divorce, job loss, miscarriage, or death. A rite of passage ritual marks our identity as we cross the threshold at this time in this place. What might be your next rite of passage in life? What ritual could help you honor it?
Relational Rituals make our invisible bonds visible. A couple might share a special morning greeting, an affectionate touch, or a nightly expression of gratitude. These simple acts deepen connection and appreciation for one another. Couples who engage in such rituals often experience greater satisfaction in their relationship, which in turn strengthens their lasting bond.
Families and friends also create meaningful traditions by gathering to celebrate birthdays, milestones, or simply the joy of being together. Through these shared rituals, we honor our relationships and nurture the stories that shape our identity and sense of belonging. What rituals bring you together in community and remind you that you are part of something larger than yourself?
As the holiday season unfolds, may you create new rituals that serve as catalysts for transformation. May your rituals create moments that illuminate your path and connect you more deeply to the beauty that surrounds you.
Ritual Practice:
Crossing the Threshold: A New Year
As we approach the end of the year, take a moment to reflect on 2025, its challenges, its triumphs, and even its tender losses. What rises in you when you consider all that this year has held? What do you hold in gratitude, and what are you ready to release? And as you turn toward 2026, how do you want to step across that threshold?
I invite you to mark this transition with intention. Create a new ritual that honors where you’ve been and opens space for what’s to come.
Ritual requires both intention and attention.
Each action in a ritual is performed to embody an intention or to mirror a process of transformation. The symbols within a ritual speak directly to the non-rational, non-verbal parts of ourselves, awakening imagination and emotion. Rituals rich in symbolic acts are not only potent, they can also be deeply engaging and even joyful.
Creating new and meaningful rituals can feel intimidating, especially when you’re designing one for a group or community. Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. Ask for help and talk with others about the rituals that have shaped their lives.
Step 1: Design your ritual by reflecting on a few guiding questions:
What type of ritual are you called to create? Personal, Consumption, Performance, Relational, Rite of Passage, or another form that fits your needs?
What is the intention of your ritual? What shift or transformation do you hope to invite?
Who will participate, and what roles might they play?
What symbols or tools will help express your purpose?
What will signal the beginning of the ritual and call participants into shared sacred space?
What transformational actions will give the ritual its power?
What resolution or closure will bring it to completion?
Step 2: Keep it simple. Trust your intuition.
Transformational actions that speak to a diverse audience can be challenging to create. Don't over think or over complicate the action. Give it space. Let it linger.
Silence is a powerful tool. When we allow ourselves moments of deliberate silence, our awareness begins to sharpen. Over time, we become attuned to the subtle and the unseen, those quiet forces that shape our lives from within and beyond.
Step 3: Choose a place, set the date, and send out your invitations.
Be sure to leave time for celebration afterward. This might include quiet reflection, conversations about the transformations that unfolded, or simply sharing food and enjoying each other’s presence.
If you are creating a personal, private ritual, be sure to set aside time to celebrate yourself as well.
Resources
Where Wonder Lives: Practices for Cultivating the Sacred in You Daily Life by Fabiana Fondevila, (2021). Learn more on Amazon
This book rests on my bedside table, inspiring both my dreamtime and my waking life. Fondevila is a scholar, a poet, and a ritualist, and she guides the reader on an expedition through the inner landscape where life’s mystery resides. Along the way, we encounter a rich tapestry of contemporary and time-honored practices from mindfulness and dreamwork to cloud gazing and communion with plants. Each time I open its pages, I’m reminded that wonder isn’t something we seek; it is something we remember.
The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harness the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions by Michael Norton, (2025). Learn more on Amazon
Think about the way you savor a favorite beverage, the unique way your family gathers around the table during holidays, or the secret language you share with your significant other. To some, these behaviors may seem quirky, but they are rituals that give our lives shape, purpose, and meaning. Drawing on a decade of original research, Michael Norton reveals how rituals help heal communities, mark life’s major transitions, ignite the collective joy of a stadium full of fans, and strengthen our ability to meet life’s challenges with resilience and heart.
Hello, Goodbye: 75 Rituals for Times of Loss, Celebration, and Change by Day Schildkret, (2022). Learn more on Amazon
We all experience moments of profound change, yet how often do we pause to truly mark them? How do we bring mindfulness, purpose, and meaning to life’s many challenges and chapters? Our lives can become deeper, richer, and more resilient when we have practices and rituals to honor, sanctify, and make sense of these thresholds. Hello, Goodbye is my trusted companion whenever I’m called to create or lead a ritual of transition. It’s a beautifully imaginative and richly resourced guide — spacious, creative, and overflowing with inspiration.
